More than Fish on Fridays:  Living a Life of Generous Penance

More than Fish on Fridays: Living a Life of Generous Penance

      During a Poor Clare’s first profession ceremony at Maria Regina Mater Monastery, the bishop asks the sister if she wishes to dedicate herself to living a life of “generous penance.” Her response?  “I desire this with my whole heart.”  What would ever prompt a woman to aspire to a penitential life and to promise Almighty God to live it with such enthusiasm?  The answer lies in what a Poor Clare means by penance and how she views Almighty God.  

     The word penance usually corresponds to the following images in the minds of most Catholics:  1) the three Hail Marys assigned in the confessional by Father, 2) the resolution to give up sweets during Lent, 3) severe corporal mortifications undertaken by saintly souls of yore, such as the wearing of hair shirts and sleeping on the floor.  At the core of these examples is the notion that penance finds its origin in the initiative of man and goes against one’s natural preferences in varying degrees, making its execution difficult and unpleasant.  More accurately speaking, however, penance is a translation of the Greek word metanoia:  a change of mind, heart and will towards God.  The initiator of this internal conversion is always our Lord, the sole author and source of all good.  Therefore, any kind of metanoia is merely a response on our part.  And what is the motivation for this response?  For the Franciscan, it is gratitude.       

     Although we may be tempted to think otherwise, God is not an angry slave driver who demands that His servants subject themselves to a life devoid of all enjoyment for the sake of His glory.  He is not the Divine Police Officer, watching our every move in order to catch us in our mistakes.  No, He is a communion of love, a love that is so overwhelming and overflowing that to experience it in its full capacity on earth would cause your heart to literally explode.  He is a God who loves you particularly and individually.  He is a God who created the entire material universe for your pleasure and delight.  He is a God who suffered unspeakable torments, but was unimaginably consoled at the thought of being able to be with you in heaven forever through His suffering.  A God who gave you His own Beloved Mother to watch over and comfort you.  A God who desires both your earthly and eternal happiness infinitely more than you do.  A God who veils His brilliance under the appearances of bread and wine so that you will not be afraid to come to Him.  He is a God who sees every wound, every failure, every sin harbored in your heart and is still passionately in love with you.  This is who our God is.  And it is recounting His infinite love and mercy that compels a Poor Clare to gratefully turn back to God with her whole heart.  This is the true meaning of generous penance.  
 
   Of course, Poor Clares practice external mortification as well, principally because our fallen human nature needs to be continually reminded to turn away from self and back towards the All-Good, All-Loving God.  We need concrete occasions by which to discipline ourselves, to deny our own preferences in favor of another.  But these outer penances are only the means to achieve the interior metanoia; they are not the metanoia itself.  And when self-denial is done not out of fear or obligation but out of gratitude and love, the grace far outweighs the difficulty.  

     It is this beautiful reality that causes a new Poor Clare bride on her profession day to so joyously embrace the prospect of living a penitential life.  A life of penance is a grateful response, a falling in love with Love Himself.